Have you ever had someone question your relationship with God?
Has anyone told you that you are not worthy, or you have done something to no be worthy of going to church? Or have you been so harshly judged by someone of a faith that you simply stop believing that God is good, could love you or is even real?
I made this video about a week after having a deep conversation about the Catholic Church, the Protestant Church and their different takes on how to have a “REAL” relationship with Jesus. I guess there are a lot of other Jesus’s too. After a night and day of crying out to Jesus, flipping through the Bible and sobbing because the Jesus I have seen through many people in the church is so judgemental, cruel, and prideful. I see doubt, no one trusting anyone unless they go to their church and look like them (not God) and every church, Christian denominations anyway (which is all I can speak to in this case) and the congregations are different – so it seems impossible to PROVE to the jury of churchgoers that one is loved by God. I was crying, because, if going to these churches means I love God and God loves me, I could not see God in their eyes.
It has taken me a number of years of deep prayer, contemplation, and relationship with the God of my own understanding whom I call Jesus to work within me, to even begin to heal what they had done. He who believes in me, who trusts me, who lifts me up or who loves me. That God, lives in my heart, created me and I am good, I feel loved by this love in my dreams, in my prayers, but not in the church. He is not the hateful and judgemental, separatist, punishing God that many others have shown me, through their own actions in Jesus’s name.
I am not new to being made wrong by church people. I have been baptized 6 times, prayed over, gone to endless Bible studies, painted my yoga studio in scripture, published books proclaiming my faith, had a radio show proclaiming my relationship with Jesus and still my love for Christ has been questioned. I was even, told I was not worthy of joining my children at their father’s church, questioned if I truly believed at every new church I tried or simply looked at like something was wrong with me because I had yet to prove to them I was born a believer. Then to top it all off, I am asked to answer to men who run, the very church that covers up child abuse, because they are chosen by God more than me. I don’t think it works that way.
This is not an uncommon story.
Although, I may have tried to prove my love for Christ a little longer than many who simply leave the church. And often their relationship with Jesus, due to others questioning their sincerity. None the less, it is a form of abuse that truly traumatizes people. Separating a body, mind, and emotions from a personal eternal soul. I have coached many of my clients back to their truth and relationship with the God of their understanding, after being Spiritually abused.
This video may push some buttons. I do poke fun a bit – but the subject is so painful. I was wondering if I should post this (because I made it before the court ruling on the Priests this week) but got a clear YES go for it; after speaking to a loyal member of the Y.O.U. community this morning.
She openly shared (without knowing my own struggle this week) her own Spiritual Abuse and the pain it caused her to be called “not enough” – “dirty” instead of being prayed for and helped. I knew that this had to be posted. Spiritual Abuse can and does ruin God’s relationship with people.
No matter your Religious beliefs, love reigns. I want to help others reclaim their relationship with their SOULS. Your soul is your link to God and you are made by God, one with God John 17.
HOW to know if you are speaking to JESUS – he loves you. HE is building people up, HE knows others hearts, you just have to know your own. There is no FEAR but LOVE, there is no WORRY but HOPE, there is no DOUBT but FAITH. Have love for one another, have hope for one another and have faith that we are all one with the one and only.