WHAT IF NO isn’t an option?
Of course in any healthy situation no is an option. In a healthy childhood home you are taught to say no, and also taught to stay safe you need to obey your parents. And as you grow up, you are given more and more freedom, to say no.
HOWEVER, for many survivors of childhood sexual abuse, no wasn’t an option. If you said no, something worse may happen. Many of my clients tried saying no and were met with upset or rage or worse. So no wasn’t an option.
THIS CLOSES a person down. If NO isn’t an option then there are only two options left. To always say yes and take what you get, or to shut down and close yourself off to the world so no one can get in.
For me, being molested wasn’t an option, it was like doing the chores. I was told what to do and I did it. As I grew up, this left me “playing it cool” in some situations I wish I had known how to set boundaries with and leave. This left me being “nice” and “flirting” to stay safe and not rock the boat or upset anyone.
Usually, I was smooth enough to kindly flirt my way out of uncomfortable situations without saying yes or no. However, not always. In my course Paradise Awaits, I teach my clients how to set boundaries and reclaim their right to NO. And how to own their sacred YES!
If you were raised to be a good girl/boy and do as you are told, you may not know, what you don’t know, which is how to stand your ground and go against the grain. This is not your fault in or out of the bedroom.
What I will promise you is, when you do learn how to say NO and how to let go of the “good girl/boy” in a healthy way, you will feel more peaceful.
Many clients who are “too nice” are ashamed of the times they had to say NO and felt like a bitch or asshole. Cause the rage or anger was the only thing that saved them from the backlash of standing up for themselves. They went from one unhealthy extreme to another. If you are afraid to push people away, be called a bitch, or have to be so hard, it’s ok, you don’t know what you don’t know.
Healing childhood sexual abuse is a holistic experience and affects every area of your life. Especially, relationships, money, and confidence. When you do heal, however, you hold a key to a power that will serve you a lifetime, because you will know the power of your own sexuality, your own NO, and your own, YES and you will be balanced emotionally, fully trusting, and valuing yourself.
If you are ready to say YES to you and NO without feeling bad or freezing up when they do in or out of the bedroom – take a journey with me Paradise Awaits – start here for free. https://lishaantiqua.pages.ontraport.net/ParadiseAwaits