I know this having a calling, isn’t easy.  To think your whole life was designed for one reason, all your experiences, your path of learning are set up to support your calling IF you choose to answer it.

 YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS! 

I know I have been called.

YES I am outing myself right now and it’s scary honestly, I’m not special at all, but I am not here working for me, or even my clients, I work for God and recall the moment heard him say “Go home and tell.” Just recently I heard it in relation to where He has had me focused for the past 20 years rather than just the literal God home and tell from when I was 13 that I speak and write about. That’s another story.

This past month I have seen the parallel between what God told me to do when I was 13 and what I have been doing for work over the past 20 odd years – in all the work I have done on myself and with my clients from beauty and fitness to trauma recovery. I help them go home and tell.

• Home is our body!
• Tell is honoring our truth and sharing our stories.

THIS IS my work. I help women LOVE their temples and honor their truth, be seen and shine!

It’s not easy to have a CALLING especially to work with women who have been abused – no one wants to talk about that even if it’s 1 in 4 of us. I’ve been told to change my target market to choose an easier way to share my wisdom, to make things lighter (and what I do is light) but marketing is hard… My ex, used to ask me to promise to stop many times if something was not as successful in the way we wanted it to be. I WILL not to stop. I TRUST that there is something bigger going before me, and behind me standing for women and men to LOVE and BE PROUD and OWN THEIR WORTH after being abused as KIDS.

I recall the moment I felt the calling/mission, I was 24 working at Pete’s coffee when the first BIG idea came to me. I did not act on it, but my health and life directed me straight into the training zone and eventually I naturally ended up doing pretty much exactly what I was talking about in 1999. I wonder if I would have had to get sick again, if I had just opened that website for survivors to share their stories and started writing books back then instead of thinking I was too poor, stupid, fat etc…

Oh well, 24 years later it all happened perfectly. For years, I said no, for years I tried to side-step it. I made excuses. I got more education. I trained more. I studied. HOWEVER, although we need those things for the WORLD, we have all we need for our callings “destiny” as Elizabeth puts it prepares us.

WHEN you are called, you don’t have a choice in the end not if you are conscious. As Jesus said “take this cup from me – IF IT’S YOUR WILL FATHER.” If you are willing GOD trains and qualifies the willing – I would have been trained either by opening that website idea at Pete’s or the hard way like I choose smile emoticon. If I knew then how to move and trust Spirit like I do now… Oh well…

I KNOW I was born for my destiny. It’s lonely at times, it’s scary and I worry about failing and looking bad. BUT I also know every time I said, if this does not … make millions… reach millions… prove me worth…. I will quit, I promise. I couldn’t, I’d get sick or depressed if I tried to side step my truth. Then I began noticing even if “it appeared to fail, the ripple had started,” and my life was blessed in other ways. Somehow more blessings, media, visibility, opportunity, time, money etc… came to give me more time to keep going.

Being called does not look like I THINK it should or would. I don’t have a million dollars or a million fans to prove to myself and the world my worth. I have had to lean on God to believe in my worth IN HIM and as a survivor that’s a challenge at times, but I’m getting better and it’s getting more fun by the day! I have not been on Oprah Winfrey (yet). I am not yet throwing my big vision concert. AND because of this you’d think I would doubt and just move on, and get a “real job” or be a happy housewife when that was possible, BUT that is and was not possible. Because just as Elizabeth said, there is something pushing you when you are called.

I KNOW I was born to break the cycle of abuse, to inspire and celebrate those survivors who still need to learn how to be happy, healthy, and safely in love. AND I am still learning too. But God gives me words, insights and holds me because I SAY YES. Even though like many with callings I may never see the total outcome of what my life is dedicated to produce. I know the ripple I am putting in the waters of healing are worth dying for.

I’m not comparing myself to anyone but myself here. I just know that stopping no matter what, has never been an option. I am called and this video moved me to confess admit and come public.

I believe we all have destiny. If you are passionate you know it. If you are supported you know it. If you are called – it FEELS different, it’s deeper than an interest or passion, talent or skill – it’s like riding a boat that if you do choose to get off you will drown and you know it. So you stay on and no matter what you believe even if you never see the ripple effect you are creating. Till death do us part. THIS or something better…

 

This video sparked this blog –